InterAction... more like InterAdam... Ahem

Discussion in 'Global Pro Wrestling' started by Northern Lights, Nov 27, 2013.

  1. Northern Lights

    Northern Lights Perfection '11 Moderator Premium Member

    Apr 16, 2001

    -Return to Top-

    GPW cameras cut backstage to where Adam Hurst is stood alone. He?s in his gym gear, which is unusual for him. Don?t feel too sorry, though. Every last millimetre of him is designer and the outfit probably set him back hundreds of dollars. Still, he?s been good enough to liven up your day, so you better listen to him now.

    Adam Hurst
    InterAction. If anybody has ever heard of a more ridiculous concept for an event, I?d like to hear it. You?re trying to get make decisions on behalf of Adam Hurst? Nobody makes decisions on behalf of Adam Hurst. I?m The God of the Game. I don?t play by the rules? I make them. You can throw all of the bullshit forfeits in the world my way if you want. I?m the boss around here. You think that facing an opponent of Brett Conwell?s choosing would be a punishment for me? Hell, I could take on ten opponents of his choosing, him, his father, his mother, the extremely tiny potential of his future children and the Syrian fucking army at once and still not break a sweat. I?m The Ninety Minute Man. How do you people not get this by now? NOTHING that you throw at me is going to slow me down. It?s the reason why I?m still at the top of my game, while others are retiring and forming alliances to try and get by. Adam Hurst is an independent state and a world fucking superpower.

    You think that I?m going to be deterred by having to sing a song? Kanye West has been calling my cell phone for the last five years asking me to perform with him. Miley Cyrus has been begging me to record a song with her? in between mouthfuls, that is.

    Yes, that?s a blowjob joke. Yes, it is.

    Adam Hurst
    Hell, the worst outcome would be having to wear an outfit of Brett?s choosing and him lending me some of his clothes. I?m The Modern Day Man. You give me something to wear and I will make it look good. There?s a reason that parents send their kids to the hairdressers to ask for ?The Adam Hurst cut?. And this is all natural. You know what SHOULD have been asked? ?Who would you like to see Daniel Shine face for the World Heavyweight title?? Now, it may seem like a rhetorical question, but Trent Eden STILL is yet to grasp the concept. You?re looking at the most marketable guy in the world. The Saviour of the Sport. I didn?t just drag wrestling into the 21st century, we?ve found ourselves in the 22nd. And it?s all down to Adam Hurst. You don?t get Brad Pitt playing cameo roles. John Lennon didn?t use to stroll in halfway through a song, hit the triangle and then leave. You find me another place where the brightest star in the sky would have clouds intentionally moved in front of it. You can hear what my fans think about you holding me down every time that I come out from behind that curtain. The booing, the jeering? that?s all aimed at you, Trent.

    The last few weeks have been bad, but then you throw the ultimate insult my way. I stand before you as The Prince of Pay-Per-View and you give me Brett fucking Conwell. Why not make it a fatal four-way and throw in Homeslice and The Mime, while you?re at it?

    Hurst shakes his head theatrically, but it?s obvious that he?s not happy.

    Adam Hurst
    Brett, I?m going to make this simple so that even you can understand it. You do what you want. You come down to the ring calling yourself ?Blood and Bones? as if you?re a fucking pirate. You do that. You try and play to the crowd, showing off how ?hardcore? you are and the crazy things you will do to win. Hell, you could have a fucking shotgun and I?d have superkicked your head off your body before you had time to pull the trigger. This isn?t going to be some battle of styles, Brett. It?s not going to be a question of whether I can handle your hardcore nature. I outmatch you in every single category under the sun. I don?t care whether you want to exchange chair shots or climb up to the rafters. I am tougher than you and I am faster than you.

    Brett Conwell, judging by the fact that you accepted this match, I?m assuming that we haven?t been properly introduced. I?m Adam Hurst and I?m BETTER than you.

    Hurst smiles, obviously pleased with himself, as the camera fades.